And Then Life Happened……
So you're trucking along, things are going well in life; home, career, relationships etc. and then before you know it BAM! the inevitable thing called life happens.
What exactly am I referring to? Well, It could be a bad report at school or work; The news that a loved one has passed; A break-up you never saw coming; Your business falling apart after giving it all you had; A friend or loved one turning on you; A mixture of words that triggers your limiting beliefs causing you to crumble…..I could go on and on but I think you get where I'm going.
When Life Gets In The Way
Life happens to all of us, believe me, you are not alone. It can take us to our knees, and often times we feel that we'll never get back up. We feel defeated, ponder giving up on it all and wonder if it's worth giving it a try again.
How do I know about all of this? Because just as life may have gotten in the way for you, life gets in the way for me too; many times in fact and yet another blow hit just a little over a couple months ago. Now I'll be completely honest, not only did it take me to my knees but those walls that we surround ourselves with seemed to get an upgrade to steel bars after that. It comes easy to build up the walls and close ourselves in. Actually, in reality, we're closing everyone else out, right?
There's nothing wrong with that, we need to allow ourselves the time to be us, evaluate the situation perhaps and determine our next course of action. I don't think however that it's always healthy to stay hidden from the world or sheltered away never fully living again. One reason for writing this is to challenge you and ask; Is this really where you want to stay?
I know your answer might be a resounding YES right now and I want you to know that that's okay 🙂 We all move where we want when we want and the time it takes you is what you alone decide. It's been a struggle to get back here and I'm nowhere near where I could be, but I'm not giving up. Reminders and triggers occur daily and it's a work in progress to keep the vision at the forefront of my brain.
Hopefully sharing some of what I've learned will help you see a different side and why choosing not to stay stuck where you are can make a difference.
Why Should We Even Care?
Well, you're right, why should we? Maybe we shouldn't, that choice and thought is entirely up to us. But I'm here to tell you that in my opinion, when we do, there's a light at the end of the darkness and it's worth it when you make it out.
Take a look around you. Mentally and visually think on what your driving factors in life are. Is it Love? Career? Family? Money? Not wanting to fail? Helping others? Only you know why and what drives you. Are they enough for you to care? If your drive involves others, are they enough for you to care?
If you stopped caring this very moment, what would the next month, six months or year look like? How does life look for those that look up to you? Those that count on your smile to brighten their day, how is their life now? What does your life look like?
It's a lot to think on I know, but for these reasons and more, this is why we should care.
How Do We Get Back Up?
This can be a loaded question, how exactly do we get back up?
One answer you won't find from me is “You Just Get Back Up”. To those that recommended that to me, I thank you, but it wasn't for me. They may not have known what more to say really but I thank them nonetheless because it helped me write this today.
Below are a few things that have helped me along the way, and hopefully will help you too.
4 Ways To Help Pull Through
- Take a deep breath and allow yourself the time you need to get through it
- Often times people put an unrealistic timeline on things and think it's a blanket timeline for everyone. Wrong. You need your time and only you know this. When your mind and body start to pull you out of it, then you know it's time. Even the slightest thought should be a sign that it's time to put to rest where you've been and leave behind what you've been going through.
- Recognize the trigger, and I mean the real trigger
- It is so natural and easy for us to become immediately angry, depressed or any other emotion when life gets in the way. I recall reading a text and immediately the words triggered me. A roller coaster of emotions overcame me and then I stopped. I stopped and started peeling the layers back like an onion and I was able to get to the real root cause. Try this little by little as you go.
- Drawing, Writing, Reading, Exercise
- I particularly enjoyed drawing as my focus was directed towards something totally different than what was going on in my life. I'm not an artist, so placing my concentration on drawing the lines and coloring the drawing once complete helped. I'm also a perfectionist by nature so it took up a lot of hours getting the drawing “just so”. Sometimes we just need an escape and a good book helps. Writing in a journal or exercising has helped so many, and it might just help you too.
- Find the little things that mean something big to you
- Does the sound of raindrops hitting a tin roof bring you peace? How about watching the sun rise or set? Maybe seeing how many words you can spell with your alphabet cereal? Regardless of the act, it's what means something to you. Something that reminds you that it's okay to not always be in the darkness. It's these reminders that really can help.
Hopefully 1 or all of these 4 tips will help you in some way. You know, if there's one thing I've learned it's flat out, life sucks sometimes! It really just does. It can turn our whole world upside down and really screw up a good day. But if there's another thing I've learned it's that pushing through to the other side can be so worth it.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. When you're ready, may life bring you all the happiness you deserve…XOXOXO
P.S.–> If you or someone you know ever needs an ear or wants to vent, you can email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org 🙂